Being Trustworthy

Even though I have been a Mum for 20 years or so does not mean I am a flawless parent, far from it actually. What it actually means is that I can see over a longer period of time what mistakes I have made, what I am responsible for and what I am not and that there is never an end to learning to be a better parent.

Having said this here is something important I have learned; teach your kids to respect you by letting them know they can trust you. The idea is that my kids will trust me to show them the boundaries and help them learn if I am trustworthy and respectful to them. Hmmm, seems sooo simple doesn't it?

If I try to keep that in mind as I go throughout my day then it dramatically changes my attitude towards my kids and my relationship with them. It makes for a calm and happy house really but more importantly I hope it will make for a loving relationship with my kids well into their adulthood. My dream for my kids is to live healthy happy lives where they will always know I'm there for them and will not advise them based on what works for me but on what is best for them.

Time To Stop Co-Sleeping

Well I think the time has finally come, I have spent the last nine months of my life sharing my bed with my beautiful nursing baby daughter and the time has come for her to move into her own room. I have been looking forward to having some independence of my own again and really feel this is the time now when Bailey is rolling around a lot at night and needs her own space.

My 2 ½ year old son Scotty used to sleep happily in his own room but when Bailey came along he would not be left out of the family bedroom and rather than fighting with him every night we decided to move his little bed back into our room for the time being and it has been really lovely to wake up with the kids every morning, however, now that Scotty is starting preschool and potty training and Bailey is moving out we have decided that the kids need to move into a room of their own so I have come up with a plan.

Now I am not foolish enough to think that everything will go completely smoothly, anyone who has co-slept with their kids knows that getting them out into their own space can sometimes take some convincing but getting your privacy back is ever so worth it and I am looking forward to waking up to hearing the kids playing together in their room next door. Our house is a three abedroom and up until a few weeks ago the second big bedroom has belonged to my eldest son Jess, however, he has moved out with his friend and that leaves a large bedroom and the box room to work with. I would really like to use that box room as my office and redecorate the large room for the two kids so that is my plan. Now Bailey nurses herself to sleep every evening and sleeps quite soundly when not teething and Scotty sleeps pretty soundly too so I think if I get a new single bed for Scotty and put the crib in the new room for Bailey then it will not be a difficult transition but I want to make sure everything is perfect for them so I need to do some painting and redecorating but cannot wait to see how it goes, wish me luck!

We brought Scotty and Bailey out to feed the ducks and I just cannot believe how cold it is getting all of a sudden! Scotty seemed to love it anyway. I loved that we could turn around and walk right into a pub that had both a play park for the kids and a brilliant cappuccino maker... :)

Breastfeeding as I know it

TOP TEN TIPS FOR BREASTFEEDING YOUR BABY

Always remember that as each baby is different and unique and each baby is going to breastfeed differently. I say this because it may come as a shock for a lot of mums who are looking forward to breastfeeding their second baby or even their third. I had such a difficult time getting my first to latch on, my second latched on right away but would suckle very strongly for an hour at a time and the first month was quite painful for me, my third took a little work at the start but she feeds for short periods of time and often but not so strongly as my second. Essentially each experience has been totally different so expect surprises!

1. Try different nursing positions, different babies are comfortable different ways and you may find what worked well for your first doesn’t work so well for your second. This is particularly necessary when your baby is having difficulty latching on.
2. Often one breast nurses comfortably and the second is more difficult depending on how the nipple sits on the breast or when it is over full, again try changing positions or adding or removing a nursing pillow. I have always found that if all else fails lie down to nurse and all of my babies took well to this.
3. If you want to sleep more at night and you can provide a safe environment for your baby co-sleeping is a fabulous way to nurse at night. I have done this with two of my kids and found they cried less and slept better.
4. Ignore anyone who says not to let your baby use you as a dummy, your baby will use you as a dummy and it is part and parcel of comforting and bonding with your baby. If you manage to nurse your kids into the time when they are sitting up and crawling then you will notice they get an awful lot of comfort from nursing when they get a bonk or are upset by something.
5. It’s ok to be shy about nursing your baby. Often the media will tell mums that they should be comfortable nursing anywhere and in a perfect world that is true but more often it can be intimidating for a woman to nurse in public. Some women will be bold as brass right from the start and good for you! For the rest of you, take your time, practice in private until you feel you can get the baby latched on without much fuss. Find clothing that works for you too based on the position you nurse in, some people find putting a blanket over their shoulder works for them although I never like to cover the baby’s face. I have found that wearing two shirts works best as I can lift the top one and pull down the second to feed and people around me will see very little. There are also lots of variations on nursing tops being sold today so have a look around. I have actually managed to surprise people I am sitting next to as they didn’t realize I was nursing! For me time really has made me more comfortable with nursing in public and it is very freeing to know I no longer have to worry about where we are going and if there is going to be a secluded spot for me.
6. Don’t worry if you get mastitis it does not mean you are doing something wrong or that you are a failure, sometimes very experienced breastfeeding mums have this problem including me!
7. Always keep in mind that how often and how much your baby nurses is not constant. Just because they have a big feed every night right before bed for the first three months does not mean that it will always be this way. Often it is difficult to continue with breastfeeding after food is introduced to your baby or as they become more interested in things going on around them but persevere and remember that even a little bit of nursing is better for them than no nursing.
8. Breast pads are essential; breasts will most likely stop leaking once a routine is established but often when feeding off one breast the other will leak so it is really important to have them. Test different brands as I have discovered that when you’re newly feeding and your nipples are sore some brands will stick to you and it is very painful to remove! I have found that the Mothercare brand does not do this so I use them pretty faithfully.
9. When having problems with cracking or painful nipples try lanoline crème, there is a specially formulated lanoline for breastfeeding mothers that is so pure that you do not have to wipe it off when nursing your baby and it is great stuff. It works by keeping the skin constantly moisturized and it works miracles for sore nipples and did wonders for me when I was nursing my second child.
10. My final piece of advice is to trust your baby to know when they are hungry or need some comfort and enjoy your time together. It may seem like this time will last forever but it really doesn’t and you will have memories to treasure for a lifetime.

Last of the Gobby Mummy!

Yesterday I noticed an interesting thing about Scotty, I noticed that if he saw either the cat or Bailey doing something he felt they shouldn't be doing he yelled at them..hmmm..wonder where he got that from? Needless to say today I made it my Mom-mission not to yell at the kids anymore. Anyone who knows me will have a good old laugh at this as I am kind of known for being what I like to call 'passionate' but my husband likes to call 'gobby'. Anyway, all in all it has been a really good day and I am quite suprised at how well everyone has behaved today and how peaceful the house seems. I never before realized how my tension effected everyone around me..

Well I kept my cool through little hands in the juice cups, and little hands pulling the clean laundry out of the baskets and onto the floor, and little hands pushing over his little sister so she bonked her head on the floor, and little hands picking the paint off the floorboards upstairs. I did lose my cool over little hands dumping my loose change on the bedroom floor and little feet splashing water all over the bathroom at bath time but I chalk that up to late in the day fatigue! All in all not bad for a first try I think.

What I did notice is that when I see trouble coming I can often divert it by asking
if someone wants a cuddle. I never got a no to that question and there was a lot of cuddling, kissing and tickling going on today, a lot more that usual and it was fun. I definately think this new rule is a keeper.

In The Beginning

Well this is my very first comment on my very first blog! So here goes! I am a 41 year old married woman with three beautiful kids and living in our three bedroom house here in sunny England. Sounds great right? It is pretty great actually, I feel really really grateful for the opportunity to live this life, priviledged in fact.

My kids are as follows, my eldest Jessie who is 20 and lives with one of his friends not far from here. He comes home for a meal every week or so and he works with my husband Ron. Then there is little Scotty who is a whirlwind of a 2 1/2 year old boy who has just started pre school and potty training. The third is my beautiful and long awaited daughter Bailey-Rose who is 8 months old and is already learning to cruise around on the furniture trying to keep up with Scotty.